Sparklehorse

Once upon a crumbly cake, the morning spiked with dew Migrainee woodsman fixed the brace into his tarheel shoe He said goodbye to Charlie, now unfit to sit or shake Dhound all fat with venom from atimber rattlesnake He tried to make a break that day, sad woodsman on a dare But vexed! instead he found himself hosting quite a bear Stupid, slow and overfed this woolly one was not Our hero knew not half the tricks his caller had forgot The bear blew snuffling cross the porch, scratching down the wall And clawing at the baseboards where the meeker beings crawl Let me in you silly man, Ive waited far too long Its time to taste your body now, Im weary of your song For five long years Ive listened, most contented Ill admit But just this morning I awoke and had enough of it I think its time I ate you, and that queer dog Charlie, too Youre useless--its been ages since you sang me something new He made the bear a promise, to shine up something big Brewed in Murder, lust and loss and all that shit you dig Ill just filly fetch the others, collect em all back here It wont be long til theres a tale or 12 for you to hear If I falter you can eat them, spit their bones across the bog Just leave this busted woodsman and his bloated, snakebit dog Quite intriguing thunk the bear, but wary just the same (His mother taught him not to smoke & never trust the lame) So tell me sorry woodsman, is that Sophie lass around? I think she sounds delicious, so savory pound for pound Ill say, spake the woodsman, and Ill bring the miner, too Hes a stringy bastard, but could be nice in stew And so many tasty others I could scare up for yr stores If youll let me just get on with it, attending to my chores So mountaintop to tarbox to a Scottish chapel dank Upon a haunted desktop with a dangermouse he drank With a Christian and his johnny hot, he toiled in the know And smarted near the altar between weatherhead & beau In Bristol town with Adrian they gave that bear what for Spanking on the steely strings with bristles from a boar Then to the static they returned, to satisfy the beast To rescue Sweet Teresa from the devils of the east Just then his fucking brace gave out, hard wear begat this fall And so the famished, fetid bear began to eat them all - written by Dave Ayers and Ambrosia Parsley